Trauma
One Size Does Not Fit All
“Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you”
From The Myth of Normal by Gabor Marte
It’s not about the event…
Often when we look at trauma we go immediately to the event, abuse, abandonment, neglect, war, loss, natural disasters, etc. However, Mate urges us to understand it is not the event itself but how that event manifests internally by the person who experiences it.
It is the unique fear, shame, hurt, and anxiety that sets in when a trigger occurs. It is the wound that is unlike those others have, even those going through the same exact event. A wound that does not seem to heal, leaves a scar that reopens on contact. A wound that is visible on the outside in guardedness, isolation, difficulty doing new things and forming new relationships, sleepless night, irritability, sadness, and on and on.
Difficulty with “It’s not as bad as…”
Often clients will come into session and say things along the lines of, “Well it’s not as bad as…” “Other people of had it worst…” “I should be tough and strong enough to make it through…’”
Trauma is not about comparing what happened from one person to others, or even to our own expectations of what our experience should have been like. It is not about what happens to us but how we personally, individually and uniquely experience it.
You are not Your Trauma
Knowing that trauma is what occurs inside us allows us to start our work together from that point. We concentrate on you, not the trauma, because you are not your trauma, even on days when it is hard to think about or focus on anything else.
Work with Craig
I began a lot of my trauma work with basic mindfulness. Mindfulness helps in increasing your awareness, understanding, and insight into yourself and who you are. It allows you to understand yourself separately from the trauma and comprehend how you feel, function, and operate. By gaining this understanding, we can genuinely grasp how to manage the symptoms of a trauma experience instead of allowing the symptoms to control us.
